Love Me Some Lyrics

You know how they say there’s song lyrics for everything? This describes my best friend and I to a T. The following conversation occurred over office communicator at work… In the course of about 15 minutes.

Lisa: this could be the start of something new!

Meagan: did you really just quote highschool musical?!

Lisa: heck yes I did

Meagan: baby, baby, baby, noooooooooo

Lisa: take a chance on him… mamma mia well abba song

Meagan: we, are never ever ever going out together

Lisa: that doesn’t count

Meagan: yes it does

Lisa: Meagan, you light up his world like nobody else… He gets so overwhelmed by the way that you flip your hair….

Meagan: it started with a whisper, and that was when he kissed herr

Lisa: He would catch a grenade for you

Meagan: rumor has it, ba da rumor has it

Lisa: you could gangnam style with him all night looong

Meagan: oh my gosh we did that around the bar last night

Lisa: you should let him love you, let him be the one to give you everything you want and need.

Meagan: show me a whole new world

Lisa: yes let him take you on a magic carpet ride

Meagan: i know you i danced with you once upon a dream

Lisa: does he make you smile like the sun and fall out of bed?

Meagan: dizzy in my head

Lisa: you guys will find love in a hopeless place, because you’re both sexy you and both know it, and you’ve got them moves like jaggar. You guys should go out because you’re young and you’d set the world on fire… don’t let him be the one that got away!

Meagan: but I’m only gonna break break, his break break his heart…

Lisa: his heart’s a stereo it beats for you so listen close! I wonder… does he “work out”

Meagan: he’s probably a womanizer, womanizer, yea he’s a womanizer…  so i’m gonna give his heart a break, heart a break

Lisa: Lisa: is it the look in his eyes, or is it the dancing juice? no no, he thinks you da one, cuz he loves you like a love song, you spin his head right round, right round…

Meagan: because two is better than one, and his love is my drug

Lisa: he loves your love the most

Meagan: and says that my love is his drug

Lisa: he thinks you’re beautiful, just the way you are, cuz you’re just the girl he’s looking forrrr, and you’re his it girl

Meagan: its cuz I make the hipsters fall in love

Lisa: the rest is still unwritten, he won’t give up on you even if the skies get rough, I think he wants to marry you

Meagan: well I kicked him to the curb cuz he looked like Mick Jaggar, and now the dudes are lining up cuz they hear I got swagger, and now I’m flyin solo, flyin solo. And that’s how the story goes.

Toeing the Line Part 4 – Skinny Jeans & Yoga Pants

This post has been brewing and stewing on the back burner for about two months now, and it finally culminated to the boiling point last night.

So… what can you tell me that’s different about these pictures?

                 

 

 

The One in the Middle is a GUY.

Growing up in church, camp, etc., I was told over and over — never dress in a way that will bring attention to yourself. You don’t want to cause guys to stumble. One woman went so far as to point out that it would be my fault if a guy lusted after me, because being visual is just the way they’re wired.

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STOP RIGHT THERE

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“Just the way they’re wired?” What the heck? So if a guy sees a beautiful woman walking down the street wearing a modest pencil skirt that covers her oh so seductive knees, and a loose blouse modestly buttoned to her collarbone — and he thinks wow she is hot. And then proceeds to bring the image of her to mind throughout the day thinking not so “pure” thoughts (which is a relative term)… somehow that is her fault?

Since when did guys start getting off the hook for their own thoughts?

It has been pointed out to me that its extremely hard for guys, especially Christian guys, to control their thoughts. NEWS FLASH. Girls have the exact same thoughts. 

Humans are visual creatures. Not just guys.

For real? Quit the double standard. If its such a huge problem and you can’t stop thinking about it — you have a problem. Its not necessarily the girls’ fault (or the guys’) if you cannot control your own thoughts. If something so little as a pair of pants, or a skirt that shows her knees (heaven forbid her knees are going to seduce you), or a shirt that shows a tiny bit of tummy skin causes you to “stumble” and lust for hours — get help. Please. Its a self-control issue, not a modesty issue.

Here’s another little wrinkle to throw in. What if I told you that skinny jeans on guys causes girls to stumble? I have known guys; church-going, Bible-believing, pray before every meal, awesome Christian guys who wear skinny jeans tighter than mine.

And that is saying something.

Just because “being visual” isn’t  something commonly discussed for women — its still true. We are visual creatures. And yes, skinny jeans on guys can “cause us to stumble.”

I’m not saying girls should wear whatever they want, or that they should have to wear burlap sacks; I’m also not saying guys absolutely cannot wear skinny jeans. I’m saying — think about it — stop the double standards. We are human. We are visual.

It is not a sin to appreciate beauty. And yes, men, you can be beautiful. (Trust me, I’ve seen some beautiful men recently). Its when we cannot control the path of our own thoughts that we get in trouble; and its no one’s fault but our own. So be careful where you lay the blame.

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Watch for the next post Toeing the Line Part 5 – Female Porn

Toeing the Line Part 3 – The Pyramid

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The pyramid becomes unbalanced.

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Yes, you may pray together, and do devotions together, church, Bible study, and you can talk about anything and everything under the sun. You’re connected deeply through emotions, feelings, conversations. But all of that will quickly turn into a downward spiral if there is no physical bond. This is where a lot of marital problems come into play. There has to be an equal balance of the physical, emotional, and spiritual. As another writer said, the physical connection is a sign that the hearts should also be connected.

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I had a couple friends ask me in the past if God was going to break their relationship up because they were doing a lot of physical stuff. (First off, I’m not God, so I can’t answer that 100% for sure if they’ll break up or not). For me, I don’t believe that God is sitting up in heaven waiting to snap His fingers and ruin our lives every time we screw up. Our God is a God of mercy and justice. If a relationship fails, it is not strictly a result of the physical aspect. More often than not there is another issue. The “balance” has been upset. If a couple is solely focused on the physical part of their relationship than the other two areas will begin to fail. This begins a downward spiral of destruction for the couple. I’ve seen it happen, and I’ve had it happen to me. It’s not worth it.

So what do you do when you stub your proverbial toe in the relationship? So you’ve tripped up, and realized you’re in a little too far physically, do you cut out all physical aspects cold turkey? No, that’s probably not a good idea, because then your focus will be on getting that aspect back instead of balancing out the rest. Once you’ve done it, its hard to say no the 2nd and 3rd times around. If you have the lights off, and you stub your toe on the coffee table; do you get rid of the coffee table? Cut off your toe? No, you turn the lights on for next time. Turn on the lights in your relationship! Once you’ve figured out which aspects of your relationship are not up to snuff, be conscious of the fact.Figure out times to talk, times for physical and times for spiritual.

Pray together. Pray for each other.

But one of the worst things you could probably do for your relationship is cut out any and all physical closeness. Its not healthy. Men and women were meant and made to interact. Get comfortable around each other. If you’re looking towards a more permanent relationship (i.e. marriage), then gradually as the wedding day draws nearer, you can increase the amount of physical closeness. But the most important is to BE COMFORTABLE. Not only with your significant other, but with yourself as well. Its a gradual process. It won’t happen overnight. Take time, make it fun. 

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Preview Part 4: I heard “Jane” say her fiance told her she couldn’t rub his neck anymore, but especially when they were alone, because he couldn’t handle it. He was going to lose control if she didn’t stop, and they might go too far.” Rubbing his neck would make him lose control? Does he not have any self-control at all?

 Watch for my next one in the series… “Toeing the Line Part 4… Self-Control.”

Toeing the Line Part Two – Stubbing Your Toe

The church and church leaders have ingrained it into young peoples’ minds that the physical aspect of a relationship is a stumbling block. That is, until that magical moment when the “I DOs” have been said, and the rings have been put on. Then its this wonderful time of happiness, love and ecstasy.

FALSE

If it is hounded into us, over and over again for 20 plus years, that physical closeness is a sin. . .

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How in the world are we supposed to re-program our minds into thinking its okay on our wedding night?

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I have a friend who told me the only thing she and her now-husband did before they got married was hold hands. Worst decision ever she said. It wasn’t necessarily their decision alone, but pressure from their church and family to abstain from any type of physical contact prior to saying “I Do.” During this conversation she said it took them almost a year to feel comfortable with each other, and for physical closeness to be natural. This is NOT how God designed it! Your wedding night is supposed to be fun, enjoyable, exciting, and YES sexual! (If I offend you, I apologize, but this is a fact of life).

The church PARENTS need to be teaching young adults and teens that physical closeness is OK within certain limits, and as long as you keep it in balance. Holding hands is NOT going to make a baby. Hugging is NOT going to make a baby. Get real people.

A wise person once told me that relationships are like pyramids. The relationship is the top point, and the base is formed of three things: physical, emotional, and spiritual. If these three things are not kept in equal balance, the pyramid (relationship) will fall. You cannot have a successful relationship with only two aspects.  Its a stumbling block. It is NOT a stumbling block, unless YOU let it become one.

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Check out Part 3 — The Pyramid

Toeing the Line Part One – How Far Is Too Far?

“How far is too far?”

You have to admit it… its the most frequently asked question and hottest topic discussed in Christian circles today.

All throughout middle and high school it was hounded into me by my church “do not cross the big black line.” Because once you cross the line, you’ll never be able to go back.

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First off, this post isn’t going to tell you what is and isn’t okay to do in your relationship. It is not going to say where the black line is. I am in no way an expert on relationships or sexual relations.

So here are my ramblings in paragraph form.

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The black line does not exist. You may be thinking, oh my gosh what is she thinking?! False. It doesn’t exist. There is no “BIG BLACK LINE” that fits every single relationship out there. There is a lot of gray areas between being a completely chaste virgin, and having had sex. That “black line” statement, I have discovered, is a ploy that “Christian” leaders use to scare kids into complete chastity. These so-called leaders of the church aren’t teaching their kids how to live in the real world. From what I’ve seen, once these kids come out from under that authority, they go crazy and do everything under the sun (including but not limited to: sex, alcohol, drugs, etc.). I would really like to know if these “Christian leaders” speak from experience, or if they’re just speaking.

My thoughts on the black line in your relationship is this: You need to figure out what your convictions are. Let me go off on a rabbit trail here… by your convictions… I do not mean the guilt that was laid on you growing up by parents, pastors, youth pastors, youth leaders, church. This isn’t what your parents believe, or your pastor, or your friend. I’m talking about what YOU believe. Your beliefs. Your morals. Your convictions. One of my friends gave me some excellent advice last May. She said “in your last year of college, figure out the friendships you want to last; deepen them. Make memories, have fun, and make your faith your own.” That is what I’ve been trying to do since then. Discovering why I believe what I believe. Making my faith my own.

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Each person is different. Each relationship is different. The physical connection in each relationship will have different dimensions, and different levels of attraction. You can’t let other people dictate your relationship. Once you’ve figured out what your line is, you need to discuss this with your significant other. If they don’t respect it, then run. Run hard and fast.

If you’re in a relationship that is heading towards the “long-term aspect”, the “happily ever after part”, the “til death do us part” part; okay, okay. Marriage. Then you definitely need to talk about what is and isn’t okay for you. I had a discussion with one of my friends who has certain things that they will not do, in or out of marriage. If this isn’t discussed prior to saying “I DO;” there are going to be BIG problems. For instance, some people in the more conservative realms believe that oral sex is a sin no matter what. Whether it occurs inside or outside of marriage. If you and your significant other are not on the same page, go see a counselor. Get good pre-marital counseling, get good post-marital counseling. Right Away.

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I know many couples on both sides of this spectrum. Couples who have had pre-marital sex, couples who waited for everything, couples who explored the gray areas. Most of them have lasting relationship that I believe will succeed in the long-term.

Another false-hood that young people believe today is that physical intimacy will be a stumbling block. Or that it will ruin their relationship. Its true, there is a fine balance that, if not properly kept, will most likely ruin a relationship. However, physical intimacy is not the problem, there are other underlying issues causing the relationship to fail.

~ Coming soon… Toeing the Line Part Two – Stubbing Your Toe ~

The Rear-View Mirror

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You cannot move forward with the future, until you let go of the past.

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Ever wonder why rear view mirrors are so small? Its because you’re not supposed to be watching behind you constantly. Eyes should be on the road ahead of you, looking to where you’re going. The windshield is huge, the rear view mirror is small. Its like that for a reason.

Don’t spend your life looking back and regretting decisions you made, people you were friends with, or even dated. Regret changes nothing. Some people say its too cliche to say “I don’t have any regrets.” Well its true, I don’t. If the things that happened in my life, hadn’t happened the way they did, I didn’t date the people I did, make the choices I made –– my life would not be the same today.

If you constantly live in the past, constantly choose to rehash things, and talk about things that happened; you’re really not moving on. You might be sitting there wondering why God hasn’t brought that “special someone” into your life, or why you can’t keep the ones you have. Maybe you haven’t let go of the past. Another possibility is you might be ready… but maybe he or she isn’t. Maybe God is still working in their life.

How do you deal with the past? Talk about it, definitely, but go to a friend who knows you and won’t judge. Hash it out, scream, rant, cry, get it out. But figure out how you need to deal with it, and let it go. You can’t change anything. If you need to talk to whoever hurt you; maybe an ex, or a previous friend — whomever. Do it, talk to them. Make it a public place so there won’t be a huge scene if something goes awry. Get closure. I know I didn’t have closure until the argument I had was finished. I wasn’t sure if the argument was really just a misunderstanding, or if it really was a huge deal. It was a huge deal, but I didn’t find that out until 3 months after the fact.

In my short lifetime, I’ve narrowed “baggage” for men and women into two different categories. (And yes I may be generalizing too much, but over-all this is what I’ve found). Women have a file box, every thing that has happened in their life goes into those files. When something happens, they pull out the file and say “look, this is what happened here, and here.” They may have “forgotten it” but they certainly haven’t forgiven it. Men on the other hand, they forget things, but most guys and men allow themselves to lose trust. And that carries over into future relationships. Trust is a huge issue, its a big deal. Without trust, a relationship — friendship, dating, marriage — will not work. Someone told me the other day “you choose which baggage you carry.” And that is true. You can choose whether or not to dwell on the past and if you carry those things into future relationships.

There’s a saying that goes “let bygones be bygones.” Its true.

Don’t live in the past. Don’t live with regret.

Stop staring into the rear view mirror, it’ll only make you crash;

you have an entire windshield in front of you.

Coffee with a Prostitute

We tell the world that Salvation is something that costs you nothing, and promises everything. But in reality, true salvation, will cost you everything.

There’s a woman in the Bible, who risked everything, including her life, for just one moment with a very important man. Some day I want to have coffee with her in Heaven. And yes, there will be coffee in Heaven because, well, the Bible says He brews it. Go ahead and say it, I’m pathetic. But you laughed, didn’t you?

You may be thinking, “oh she wants to meet Esther, or maybe Ruth, possibly even Mary sister of Lazarus.”

Wrong on all accounts.

I want to meet the prostitute in Luke 7

This woman was a “woman of the night,” a harlot, a prostitute. She sold her body to make a living. She was a woman that no one, at least no “good people” would talk to or associate with. Also in those days, people did not bathe once a  day like we do, maybe not even every week. And because of that, around this woman’s neck would hang a vial of perfume. This perfume would be used to overpower the body odor that I’m sure everyone had. She would most likely use a single drop at a time because it was such a precious commodity to have perfume. That was part of her livelihood. She would also use her hair as an eye-catcher. Women’s hair was supposed to be covered, up, and reserved only for her husband. However, this woman used her hair to work her whiles on the men.

To set up another scene, Jesus is at the house of Simon, and Simon had not offered to wash his feet. It was customary in those days that a guest, such as the rabbi Jesus, would have their feet washed. If it was an honored guest, the host would wash the person’s feet themselves. Picture walking all day in hot, dry, sand. Its probably been dusty, you’re starting to sweat, and now its stuck to your feet.  Oh, did I mention you were also wearing leather sandals or are barefoot? I think your feet would need washed… Well, after being snubbed by Simon; Jesus and the fellow guests reclined at the table, which meant they were laying on their side, propped up by an elbow. Therefore, the guests’ feet were probably touching at some point. Jesus’ feet were not washed, Simon snubbed him and didn’t wash Christ’s feet. Imagine if all the men’s feet were dirty, or just a few were clean? Simon didn’t wash Jesus’ feet. 

In the moments leading up to this dinner at Simon’s house, something touched this woman. Something, or someone, touched her so much that she was moved to tears. She then went into the dinner uninvited and stood over Jesus. Now not only was this uninvited interruption a huge offense, but because she was lower in class than Jesus, standing above Him at his feet was another sign of disrespect. In today’s culture, what she did would be called obscene. 

The woman was weeping, in fact, she was weeping so much that her tears were washing His feet. She was cleansing the Lord’s feet with her tears. I cannot even fathom this. I cry, not many people see me cry, but I do. I’m not made of stone. But to wash two feet? That’s a lot of tears. She then took her unbound hair (another obscene offense) and began to wipe His feet and clean them. Hair was a woman’s mark of beauty, and worthiness. It was not cut, and never seen by anyone except her husband. She let her hair down and then dried Christ’s feet with her crown of beauty. 

But here comes the best part.

She took that special vial of perfume, the one that she used maybe one drop per man that she serviced, and used the entire vial on Christ’s feet. Then, she prostrated herself on the floor, in front of an entire room of people, and began to kiss the Lord’s feet. She didn’t just use oil, she used perfume, expensive perfume. She was so desperate to show her affection that she risked death for a chance with the Lord Jesus.

Now Simon, he was not very happy with this harlot crashing his dinner party, but Jesus began to tell the parable of the two men who owed money. Their debts were forgiven, who loved the moneylender more? The one with the most debt forgiven. So Jesus, turning toward the woman, said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave Me no kiss; but she, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My feet. You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed My feet with perfume. Her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.”  

Sometimes I think the more people mess up, and realize that God forgives them, the more power they have in reaching people with the true love of God. I know I’ve been forgiven of things, and for me, its given me a special love for people in similar situations. I’m able to talk to them, without judging. I’m able to love them, without stipulations. I want them to know the same forgiveness I have known. I want them to know the loving God who I know and love for myself.

This woman’s faith, almost cost her everything. She could have been stoned for what she did. But, Christ forgave her for everything. She left that house, and was totally forgiven, but she had been willing to give up everything for a moment with Christ. Everyone may say “Salvation is a free gift, you don’t have to do anything!!” And no, we do not have to DO anything to receive salvation. It is a free gift. But once we have that gift, kind of like a new baby, it is going to cost us everything we have.

So while I do want to meet Esther, and Ruth and many other people in history.

 I really can’t wait to have coffee with a prostitute

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